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What do I mean by 'inner' vibrancy?

Feeling vibrant is an " inside job" and takes time and dedication but it is so worth it.

I believe all women deserve to live a vibrant, rich and fulfilling life. Why is it that many of us struggle to reach this place?

I'll tell you why. It's to do with our core programming as women across generations and cultures. We were brought up as girls to please others and to put ourselves last (otherwise we are labelled selfish.)

Asa result we spend our time nurturing others at the cost of our needs. It's usually embedded deeply as a lifetime habit. It's often not until a life event stops us in our tracks like illness, a marriage breakdown or a job loss that we are forced to confront our core patterns.

This is what happened to me. Out of nowhere, at 42, I had a breast cancer diagnosis. Of course I knew it didn't really come 'out of nowhere' as cancer takes time to develop. Looking back, I had had two very stressful years before the cancer was diagnosed. However it FELT like it had suddenly gate-crashed into my life as an uninvited guest. Life went from being okay to hitting rock bottom.

I had to start from scratch.

After a lot of soul-searching I realised that I had two strong patterns running through my life- please others and be perfect and these had uniquely combined to set up the conditions for me to neglect my own needs and over-work to please others and get the love and attention I craved.

What did I do to heal myself?

I started with a new commitment. I realised that because I had neglected my needs, always putting them on hold for the sake of others, I needed to do something radically different.

We always have choices in life.

Our life is created moment by moment from the choices we make or don't make.

I knew that I had a lot of negative self-talk stemming from a core belief of " I am not good enough." I was constantly measuring myself up to an impossible standard I had set to "be perfect." You can't keep this up over a life-time especially if your day job is hugely demanding, as mine was at the time, as a primary school teacher.

At this stage, I hadn't discovered Logosynthesis®. (which uniquely releases the energy linked to core beliefs like 'I am not enough.' layer by layer in a gentle and very effective way.)

I had to start somewhere, alongside the healthy body regime I embarked on of juicing, coffee enemas, an organic diet and practising healing modalities like EFT and having healing sessions.

I want to share with you here three ways to begin to cultivate your inner vibrancy. In addition I've talked about my cancer journey in a recent podcast I recorded with Hazel Hislop a Health and Wellbeing Coach. You might want to take a listen to our conversation.

1. Change your beliefs and patterns

Notice the patterns and beliefs as they come up. Pause, connect to your heart, feel the feelings and ask " what is the kindest thing I can do for myself in this moment?" Limiting beliefs about ourselves only bring our energy down. It's time to liberate the past and to drop self-judgement and resentment. This brings freedom and expansion of the present moment. It's not easy but it is essential. Seek some support from a coach or therapist to help you release what has been holding you back if you need to.

2. Build self-intimacy

This is a day by day experience that takes time to build. If you think of self-intimacy what does it mean? Perhaps you think of looking after your body through good nutrition, hydration and exercise. These are all good but self-intimacy goes much deeper. Start by asking yourself "what is the most loving thing I can do or feel in this moment? "

Are you critical and judgemental of yourself? Even if you are only judging others you are also judging yourself on some level. Many of us have literally starved ourselves of love. Start small. Make a list of 15 ways you can show yourself love and add the top 5 to your daily routine.

3. Nurture your inner child

When you catch your self-sabotaging thoughts. I am not an advocate of replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This doesn't work in the short or long-term. Instead listen to the core messages you are telling yourself and patiently ask "how old is this little one who is saying and feeling this?"

Our inner child needs our love, support and reassurance before it will trust enough to let love in. Find a photograph of yourself as that young child and tell her that she is loved. Reassure her that you will never abandon her.


Cultivating inner vibrancy is about taking a deep dive into our patterns and programmes to see what's not helpful. If we have inner vibrancy we know we are worthy of love. We are at home within ourselves and respond to life with joy and curiosity rather than with fear and apprehension. It takes commitment to create a deeper connection to ourselves. It might feel strange to be giving yourself a lot of loving attention at first however if you practice this every day, I promise you the world around you will begin to look and feel different and respond to you in a different way.

Today is a great day to make this commitment to cultivate your inner vibrancy. If you need support why not schedule in an initial consultation appointment with me here


Life is challenging and uncertain for everyone at the moment. We are worried about catching Covid-19 and its mutating strains and passing it on to those who are vulnerable. With the frequent policy changes and decisions being taken it’s increasingly hard to stay sane, juggling circumstances and priorities with no end in sight. When we feel confused by the mixed messages we are hearing in the media we experience cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is holding some contradictory beliefs, values or ideas from the information we are hearing.

Fear and anxiety are known to suppress our immune system and keep us in a state of fight, flight or freeze. This is not a healthy place to be and will lead to exhaustion and burn-out.

We are in a global transition cycle

William Bridges describes transition as "the psychological process we go through in order to come to terms with a new situation." We will have all experienced one or two major transitions in our life, for example a job or significant relationship coming to an end. The major difference is that now the Covid-19 crisis is affecting us all at the same time, to a greater or lesser degree.

A transition is an ‘in between’ space where we can feel like a trapeze artist suspended in mid-air.

At times like this its good to step back, check in and ask:-

• What is in my control and what is outside of my control?
• What changes or adjustments can I make?
• What difference would that make to how I am feeling?

Make a list of the things you are free to take action on. This will help you regain some autonomy. We can create positive changes by taking small steps, even if they are only micro-steps. There is always space for refreshing our perspective on life.

Discovering what you need in the moment will enable you to feel calmer and more centred in your daily life.

Here are 3 tips to reset your life: -

Wake up well
Redesign a new morning routine to uplift you, whether you are a lark or an owl. What would put you in a great mood? Maybe it's journaling, yoga, singing, dancing or walking in nature every day. For more suggestions on creating a new morning routine, take a look at “Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod.

Eat and drink healthily
When we eat healthily we feel better and have more consistent energy throughout the day. Try out some new healthy recipes to get re-inspired. Consider a detox and reduce your alcohol and caffeine intake. Drinking good quality water makes a difference too.

Rebalance your week
Think about what you want to change. Be honest - how much time do you take for yourself in an average week? Plan out your ideal week and compare it to your actual week. This exercise can be revealing! Find an action to take towards more balance.


Do you remember when you were revising for your exams at school? Did you start your revision a few weeks or even months ahead or leave it until the night before?

We procrastinate when we delay something. Sometimes there’s a deadline involved and at other times there is no time limit. If we have an external time limit it does help us to get things done!

At the beginning of a new year, we might decide to create a new routine or change a bad habit. We will start off with good intentions and feel very enthusiastic about making changes. We genuinely want to make a difference and to transform our old ways and behaviour patterns.

We feel an initial buzz of excitement and we tell ourselves we're really going to do it this time. This is the year/month/day!

We go to the gym every day for a week or stick to a new diet for 7 days and feel very proud of our achievements. We pat ourselves on the back and vow to continue.

However, a few days or perhaps a week later, we begin to notice some unwelcome thoughts creeping in. They are like voices in our heads, tiny whispers, but they don't seem to go away easily.

They might say things like :-

 “Get it done now, don't leave it until tomorrow “

“No-one will know if you don’t do it”

“ It’s only one biscuit. It won’t make much difference.”

"You're not even trying."

These conflicting voices try and sabotage our best efforts and alongside them we notice our willpower is beginning to wane.

We might decide to ignore the conflicting thoughts and internal voices we are experiencing and to carry on. Often they just get louder. We go into overwhelm or feel exhausted. We recognise that this familiar pattern is trying to sabotage our best efforts.

To counteract the internal conflict, we might hire a personal trainer, join Weight watchers or find a good life coach. We feel that we need an external person to keep us on track.

Let me share more with you about what’s going on from a different perspective.......

During a recent online seminar, the creator of Logosynthesis® Dr. Willem Lammers, shared what happens when we procrastinate and how we can move beyond it and uncover our 'Free Self.'

Willem identified four different (and competing) PARTS that will try to pull us in different directions. The computer, the parrot, the rebel and the servant.

The COMPUTER is about information. It's very rational and logical. It knows the consequences if we don’t get the task done. It speaks in 3rd person and says "this is the task” and "this is how it has to be done.” The computer knows all the steps and who else we need to involve.

The PARROT represents power and authority. It tells us what to do. It speaks but cannot act. It gives us a command. It might have a specific tone of voice when it says “you should have finished that ages ago.” It also uses words like "you must, "you have to," "you should have” etc. The parrot is always right and often even sounds like one of our parents.


What sort of things does my parrot say?

What tone of voice does it have? Does this remind me of anyone?

Next comes the REBEL. The rebel works in opposition to the parrot. It will act as long as it’s not seen. It uses its power to distract and it can be rather sly. It might say something like, “I’m going to do what I want.” or "you deserve to have that now"


How does my rebel show up?

What is its favourite strategy?

Finally the SERVANT comes in to complete the task and DO THE JOB. It will obey the authority of the parrot. The servant wants respect and to be seen. It is afraid of failure and gets anxious. It works rather like a robot.

As the deadline looms closer, the parrot escalates, the rebel gives up and the servant gets the work done.

This takes up a lot of time and energy and is where Logosynthesis® comes in useful. We can use the Logosynthesis® sentences to release the energy caught up in the parrot and the rebel. Now, it becomes possible to begin to access your Free Self !

When we operate from our Free Self, we have the freedom to act, create and be productive. We can move forward with ease and our life starts to flow.

If you want to know more about how Logosynthesis® can help you with procrastination and any other areas of your life where you feel stuck please contact me.

The month of February is the month of love. Everywhere I go shops and supermarkets are promoting Valentine’s Day offers on flowers, wine and chocolates.

When was the last time you gave yourself something?

Many of my clients have difficulty when it comes to prioritising their own needs. It always seems to be their time that gets squeezed. What I do is to ask my clients to block out some “ME” time in their daily schedule. When they feed back to me they often say that it’s been really hard for them to stick to it. We know that it takes six weeks to create a new habit and this one seems a real challenge to master!

Why do we find it really hard to say NO to others so we can say YES to ourselves?

  • We feel guilty because we feel we should be doing something else; we may start cleaning, sorting paperwork or other displacement activities.
  • It feels self-indulgent to give to ourselves
  • We value other people’s time more than we value our own.

As women we were brought up to please others and to put others first. We have to start by deconstructing some of these earlier patterns, as they are not healthy or sustainable for us in the long run.

When will you start prioritising you and gifting you the time and attention you deserve? I suggest that now is the perfect time to start.

Ask yourself what you would most like to be given as a gift, then go ahead and gift that to yourself.  (It doesn’t have to be expensive either, just choose something that would nurture you, nourish your soul and give you joy.) I’d love to hear what you come up with.

Remember you need to keep yourself topped up with love, only then can you fully give to others.


Sometimes our lives can seem like an endless line of things we  "have to" do, “must” do and “should" do. It’s like a never-ending conveyor belt. Then there is that "to do" list that never seems to go down, not to mention the things we always mean to get round to doing but never make the time to do. You may even have dreams that have become buried underneath everything, so you have forgotten about them. As women it’s very easy to get caught up in supporting everyone else instead of  prioritising ourselves.

So now might be the perfect moment to put some time aside to pause and reflect.

When we are busy “doing” we don’t take the time to " be" with ourselves. Some of my clients make their lives so full that they have no time for themselves. During coaching they come to the realisation that “being busy” is actually an unhelpful habit and a way of avoiding spending too much time on their own. Taking time out can feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable to start with.

When was the last time you took time out to reflect on where you are and what you want to create for the rest of this year?

5 benefits of taking time out

  • To connect to the still point inside you and tune into your guidance and inner wisdom
  • To become calm, relaxed and centred
  • To reflect on the past week and month and acknowledge what you have achieved
  • To re-connect to what you really want
  •  To build your personal resilience. It's much easier to tackle the more challenging aspects of life when we are “topped” up 

My top time out tips

  • Block out a day a month in your diary just for you and keep it free no matter what!
  • Choose a special place to “be.” This might be a lovely room in your home or a beautiful quiet place outside in nature
  • Never feel guilty. This is your time and an amazing gift you can give to yourself

Are you feeling drained by the sheer amount of things you have to do every day?

Today as I write, it feels like spring is in the air. This morning, when I woke up to sunshine pouring in through the windows I was reminded that just being here is a gift and that our time is precious. No-one likes wasting time so it comes down to a question of re-prioritising. Sometimes it's good to stop and re-examine how we are spending our time so that we can begin to free up some more time and energy.

If your life was a really precious gift how would you want to spend your time this week?

What would bring you the most joy and pleasure?

Write down some of the things that you love doing every day that will lift your spirits and connect you to your heart. Call this list A.

Now make a list of all the aspects of your life that are not working well; the things that drain you or make you feel flat and call this list B. (You might have a never ending to-do list which never goes down. Just thinking about it could be draining you! )

  • How could you reduce the things on list B so you can do more of the things on list A?
  • Some of the items on list B  will be things that you have to do so is there a way to do them differently so that you can feel lighter and more energised?
  • Are there things on list A that you have forgotten about? Schedule in couple of them into your week and notice how you feel afterwards.
  • It might be that you need to create a more balanced life by dropping some activities on list B that are not serving you.
  • Remember to schedule in some "alone time" to give you the time and space to daydream.

Let me know how you get on by posting a comment below.

When was the last time you felt free ?

When did you take time out just for yourself ?

I spent the Christmas period in Devon, chilling out with family and friends. Spending time with everyone was wonderful but I noticed that I had a yearning for some time out on the coast. Being by the sea always makes me feel great. It's an opportunity to cleanse and refresh my energy. I found some space and set off to spend the day by the sea. As if by magic, in the midst of the many wet, dull, grey days we had been experiencing, the sun came out, and I found myself on the beach watching the beautiful reflection of the sunlight over the sea.

There was a strong wind blowing, which made for high waves and red cheeks. When I started walking I was literally blown along by the gusty winds. As I stopped to watch the waves break on the beach I was caught unawares by a much bigger wave. Suddenly there was water flowing over the top of my boots, which then seeped through to my socks and feet! But I didn’t mind at all… in fact it felt like an invitation to be playful and I had a laugh about it.

Freedon blog ist pic

I became fascinated by the mass of sea foam left behind on the shore. The bubbles lasted for ages and I was mesmerised for what seemed like hours, just observing and breathing it all in.

Fredom blog 2nd image


Something magical happens when you spend time out in nature exposed to the wildness of all the elements. Somehow you feel connected to life, to the bigger picture, to your wild side.


There is  more space for your creativity to flow.

  • When did you last set aside a day just for you?
  • I invite you to set aside a day just for you
  • Commit to it by putting a date in your diary now

And if you can’t physically create a day right now, set aside an hour to go outside and connect with the elements.