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What do I mean by 'inner' vibrancy?

Feeling vibrant is an " inside job" and takes time and dedication but it is so worth it.

I believe all women deserve to live a vibrant, rich and fulfilling life. Why is it that many of us struggle to reach this place?

I'll tell you why. It's to do with our core programming as women across generations and cultures. We were brought up as girls to please others and to put ourselves last (otherwise we are labelled selfish.)

Asa result we spend our time nurturing others at the cost of our needs. It's usually embedded deeply as a lifetime habit. It's often not until a life event stops us in our tracks like illness, a marriage breakdown or a job loss that we are forced to confront our core patterns.

This is what happened to me. Out of nowhere, at 42, I had a breast cancer diagnosis. Of course I knew it didn't really come 'out of nowhere' as cancer takes time to develop. Looking back, I had had two very stressful years before the cancer was diagnosed. However it FELT like it had suddenly gate-crashed into my life as an uninvited guest. Life went from being okay to hitting rock bottom.

I had to start from scratch.

After a lot of soul-searching I realised that I had two strong patterns running through my life- please others and be perfect and these had uniquely combined to set up the conditions for me to neglect my own needs and over-work to please others and get the love and attention I craved.

What did I do to heal myself?

I started with a new commitment. I realised that because I had neglected my needs, always putting them on hold for the sake of others, I needed to do something radically different.

We always have choices in life.

Our life is created moment by moment from the choices we make or don't make.

I knew that I had a lot of negative self-talk stemming from a core belief of " I am not good enough." I was constantly measuring myself up to an impossible standard I had set to "be perfect." You can't keep this up over a life-time especially if your day job is hugely demanding, as mine was at the time, as a primary school teacher.

At this stage, I hadn't discovered Logosynthesis®. (which uniquely releases the energy linked to core beliefs like 'I am not enough.' layer by layer in a gentle and very effective way.)

I had to start somewhere, alongside the healthy body regime I embarked on of juicing, coffee enemas, an organic diet and practising healing modalities like EFT and having healing sessions.

I want to share with you here three ways to begin to cultivate your inner vibrancy. In addition I've talked about my cancer journey in a recent podcast I recorded with Hazel Hislop a Health and Wellbeing Coach. You might want to take a listen to our conversation.

1. Change your beliefs and patterns

Notice the patterns and beliefs as they come up. Pause, connect to your heart, feel the feelings and ask " what is the kindest thing I can do for myself in this moment?" Limiting beliefs about ourselves only bring our energy down. It's time to liberate the past and to drop self-judgement and resentment. This brings freedom and expansion of the present moment. It's not easy but it is essential. Seek some support from a coach or therapist to help you release what has been holding you back if you need to.

2. Build self-intimacy

This is a day by day experience that takes time to build. If you think of self-intimacy what does it mean? Perhaps you think of looking after your body through good nutrition, hydration and exercise. These are all good but self-intimacy goes much deeper. Start by asking yourself "what is the most loving thing I can do or feel in this moment? "

Are you critical and judgemental of yourself? Even if you are only judging others you are also judging yourself on some level. Many of us have literally starved ourselves of love. Start small. Make a list of 15 ways you can show yourself love and add the top 5 to your daily routine.

3. Nurture your inner child

When you catch your self-sabotaging thoughts. I am not an advocate of replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This doesn't work in the short or long-term. Instead listen to the core messages you are telling yourself and patiently ask "how old is this little one who is saying and feeling this?"

Our inner child needs our love, support and reassurance before it will trust enough to let love in. Find a photograph of yourself as that young child and tell her that she is loved. Reassure her that you will never abandon her.

Conclusion

Cultivating inner vibrancy is about taking a deep dive into our patterns and programmes to see what's not helpful. If we have inner vibrancy we know we are worthy of love. We are at home within ourselves and respond to life with joy and curiosity rather than with fear and apprehension. It takes commitment to create a deeper connection to ourselves. It might feel strange to be giving yourself a lot of loving attention at first however if you practice this every day, I promise you the world around you will begin to look and feel different and respond to you in a different way.

Today is a great day to make this commitment to cultivate your inner vibrancy. If you need support why not schedule in an initial consultation appointment with me here

I used to think there was something wrong with me. In my 40's after my marriage breakdown, I was at rock bottom, experiencing extreme grief and sadness. I had reached the bottom of a very deep well and I knew that I had to climb out and rebuild my self-esteem.

Over the next 10 years, I was determined to follow a path of self-improvement. I read a lot of self-help books including Caroline Myss's book "Why People don't Heal and How They Can." I discovered Louise Hay's" You Can Heal Your Life" book and went to many weekend workshops. I read a lot of self-help books but the writings of these two women stood out on my own road to recovery.

As women we are encouraged to aim for perfectionism. Through the media, we are conditioned to strive for the perfect figure, the perfect skin, hair and make-up. We learn early on to judge ourselves as not being good enough and to compare ourselves with others. We become increasingly disappointed in ourselves because we don't match up to the myth of how a woman should be.

There is little room to grow and evolve as women because we often feel 'less than perfect.' Our foundation is inherently flawed and we spend time on self-analysis and self-criticism, which gets us nowhere.

WHAT IF WE ARE ALREADY PERFECT?

What if you began each day believing this and living your life from this space?

How would you show up differently?

YOU would begin to TRUST yourself and OPEN UP to yourself.

Then spend time identifying any outdated beliefs you have about yourself. Root out any behaviour patterns that do not support your growth and future evolution. Instead of judgement, cultivate compassion. Discover how to become heart-based and heart-centred.

If you can do this, you will experience more peace and joy. You will learn how to take your power back and reclaim your self-worth.

During my coaching sessions, I encourage my clients to cultivate a loving relationship with themselves. As women we have often neglected our needs for years. From the new place of love, they learn to witness their own growth and transformation. They learn that everything is already perfect.

When you start from the place of I am more than okay rather than I am flawed you show up for yourself differently. You reclaim love and blossom and thrive from a space of essential goodness and perfection.

Let's set ourselves free from feeling flawed and imperfect!